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Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in dystatic's LiveJournal:

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Friday, July 17th, 2015
12:35 am
i am so sniffly!
i spent the evening cleaning up at my house, which was not so bad. i was just sorting things out. my true goal of the night was to make some washing soda! to do this you need to bake some baking soda in the oven, stirring it occasionally to make sure it heats evenly. (or so says the internet) but every time i stirred it or did anything with it i started sneezing and sniffling and ugh. so i was trying really hard to not breathe it in, i was plugging my nose and attempting not to breathe. ugh. the internet told me nothing about that.

i have a wasp problem! & i am really starting to hate those things. so far i have been bitten 3 times this summer, twice this week! they have built a nest on my steps under my front porch!!! my dad sprayed it really good and removed the nest. then yesterday i noticed all sorts of wasps flying into my steps again & you could see a nest. under a week and they had built another one the size of a large grapefruit/small melon already. i was even being careful, walking on the opposite end of the steps and gently and BITE! stupid bugger. the bite from this one looks weird, it looks like a blister but it is flat??? & all three of my bites are on my left leg, one on my foot and 2 on the lower right calf. ugh. so my dad sprayed them all again and knocked down the nest. & this evening i was out there with him and we were looking there and there are still wasps swarming at the stairs. so he was just spraying the heck out of it with the hose and even after that there were wasps flying around. i dont know what we can do????

i took this picture yesterday, i just kinda stuck my camera under my little deck and aimed and clicked the shutter so i had to crop it and enlarge it a bit and when doing that i noticed that my camera has a blue pixel on the bottom middle of the photos!!! i dont know if you can see it on this picture or if it is cut off, i cant remember and i cant see until i post it. arg!!! i kinda quickly looked it up yesterday but not in great detail and i think that there might be something i can do to fix it. i hope so! it was quite bright on these under the deck pictures, probably because i used the flash??? the same day, after, i had taken some pictures of some white cloth and when you enlarge, sure enough the blue dot is there but it is not that bright.
yesterday i also took a bunch of pictures of bees!
Sunday, July 12th, 2015
1:29 am
went to my uncles place for a bbq tonight. it went pretty well. it has been very very very warm out lately. well, just plain hot. we have decided to have a standing invitation for bbq night on saturdays this summer, if anyone is up for it, which i think is a good idea!
i had a veggie hot dog & it was pretty good! i have never really had one before. well.. i think i have had a taste of one once or twice maybe? & i know i attempted to eat one once when i first stopped eating meat, which was ... maybe 16 or 17 years ago? i tried cooking it over the fire while camping and it was disgusting! i had to throw it out. my aunty said that you need to bbq them or they are yucky. so anyway, the first hotdog i have had in a long time!
the night was generally good, there was one instance that kinda bothered me though. my nieces were saying something about killer whales, i dont know what. they recently went on holidays and went whale watching & saw some, so it was something about that. they were calling them orcas though & one of my uncles said something like 'doesnt the word orca mean whale?' ...no one really knew but i said, i dont know, but i really dont think so because orcas are actually dolphins.
there was a bit of talk & my sister quickly looked something up on her phone and read something, i dont remember exactly everything she said something about orcas... killer whales... then something about the name and god of the underworld or something like that, and then she said something like, so yeah it means whale.
i said.. um, no, i dont think so, cause they are dolphins, and she said, no its whale.
i tried to explain.. well, no.. you just read something about the name origin being something about a god of the underworld or something? .."no, whale."
..but..the.."no, whale."
she can be very abrupt sometimes and kinda rude. i was really rather annoyed and kinda offended. i mean, i knew i was right. i was kinda into dolphins and whales back in junior high, so i kinda know a bit about them. there really was not anything i could do about it though, short of starting a fight with her & it was not that important or worth it. i did not have any solid facts to back me up or anything, so whatever, move on. however, when i got home & got around to coming online i did look it up and sent her & my aunt&uncle a link showing that killer whales are dolphins and i also found a little blurb about the origin of their name on wikipedia. its not like i held a grudge or anything though, i even rode home with her so we could talk on the way back.
another thing i was kinda noticing there while everyone was talking, and have been sort of just noticing in general, is that my mom is starting to forget a lot of things. she has been forgetful for awhile, just a bit absent minded perhaps, but today there was a couple of instances. i said something to everyone (that i had read that edmonton had been the drive in capital of canada) and a few moments later.. literally, probably 5, less than 10 i am sure, my uncle comes out and she tells him "someone just said that edmonton is the drive in .." i said, yeah, that someone was me. she laughed and said 'i don't know, i cant remember these things' or something to that effect.
she has weird things with her memory a lot lately, but not usually so obvious
the other thing was a bit more concerning to me. people were talking about little kids who talk about events from past lives. when my brother was really little he used to talk sometimes about when he worked on the railway & then there was this odd event when he was maybe 3 or something when someone from the railway actually called the house and asked for my brother (or his name) to offer him a job. my mother has told this story many many many times. they were talking about this and then my aunty mentioned the part about the job and my mom was like "really? i dont remember that? i remember someone called about a job, but i dont remember what it was for."
she has also been sleeping a lot.
i think i have noticed things before, but i think today i am actually first starting to worry that something might actually be slipping with her. it is not something i really want to think about, but i suppose i should look into it a bit because if something is happening the sooner it is managed the better.
the other thing i have noticed lately, far less concerning, is that my left ankle is noticeably larger than my right one. now, its only a bit larger i guess. my left leg is the one i broke. i have a rod and 6 screws in it & i am wondering if that alone can be the cause. another option i am thinking is scar tissue, but i am not thinking that so much because i dont really feel much scar tissue there. a third option is my ankle can just be a bit swollen at the end of the day, totally possible. i had injured my right ankle way back, quite bad, tore several ligaments, some pretty bad, and that ankle would swell up for years and years after, still does sometimes, and i only really look at my legs at night when i think about it. just something i have been wondering about.
it has been super smokey out too! blah. and my throat has been scratchy. its unpleasant.
but things have been generally good.
except that i have been wanting to make green onion cakes for days and days and days, weeks even! and i keep forgetting or whatever, or, like today, i was going to do it but now it is 1:28AM already. i think i might just do it anyway!!!!
they are so yum~!
Thursday, July 9th, 2015
8:24 pm
it is HOT out!
record breaking heat today! it got up to 34
i went and got fruit, so i am happy! i got plums & peaches & nectarines & strawberries
i also got some nugget potatoes, yum!
i am thinking of making stirfry tonight for supper, yippie!
i also bought some prickly pears! i have never had them before! they had green ones and red ones, so i bought one of each.
i had another new fruit last week, a granadilla! which is a type of passionfruit i guess! it is similar to a purple passionfruit, but it was orange and larger
have i written about my dying stuff?
i have been wanting to do eco dying. so i have been mordanting my cloths
my uncle brought me a pale of ash from his fireplace, so yesterday i started making some ashwater
i tested the pH of the bit that had formed & it is quite alkaline, so that is really good!
i want to do an alkaline mordant & 1 more protein mordant on my dishtowels & then i am going to attempt to do some ecodyes!
& i am going to attempt to do some solar dying on some of the remnants that i got from the eco center
i also have been wanting to make green onion cakes for ages!
well.. maybe not ages, but last week or possibly even the week before i bought a couple bunches of green onions to make some & i still have not done it!
so i am going to tonight!
i attempted to make some rose petal jam yesterday!
it kind of went disastrous!
i have never used pectin (well, i made my own apple pectin last year and used that for the pomegranate jam i made, but have never used store bought pectin) & was uncertain about it
one way of adding pectin to jam is to put lemon peels in a little bag made of cheesecloth and boil it with the jam while you are making it
so.. i did that, i thought it might help a tiny bit
my jam got SUPER THICK!
i ended up having to add more water
i also ended up only filling 1 tiny jar! i didnt have that many petals but i thought it would at least make maybe 3?
also i checked it today & the jar did not seal
oh well
i think i need to eat some ice cream
Sunday, July 5th, 2015
6:29 pm
i went to the farm today!
i wanted to pick wild roses because i want to make some wild rose jam (or jelly, whatever)
i walked around LOTS and there were barely any blossoms! lots of bushes, just most of the blossoms were gone, so that sucked. after awhile walking my hips started hurting REALLY bad. (not -hands on your hips- hips, ..hip socket, hip joint type hips) .. i have not had problems with my hips in a long time, so this really sucks. i have some sort of arthritis in my hips but they have not bothered me in over a year? multiple years even maybe? blah.
i also picked some of the dark purple alfalfa flowers for iceflower dying & some dark pink roses from my grandma's flower garden for dying as well, so.. there is that.
after the walking around i sat in the house for a bit .. my dad was mowing the lawn, which took a LONG time. hours and hours .. the grass had got a foot high & he had to go over areas twice.
i started looking around at stuff.. in the kitchen because i wanted to see if there were any pots i could use for dying. i found a nice big one with a lid! i also found some other old stuff, some old glass jars of extract, an old box of powdered soap, an old box of plaster, some little vintage oil cans, a measuring cup.. i am not sure what else.
& i did some looking around in her bedroom & got some neat things! old bus tickets, some old safetypins, a old pair of pinking shears, a little ceramic deer & then the neatest thing, an old stereoscope & a whole stack of cards for it!
i also started sorting through some papers on her dresser.. sorting out what is to keep and what is to get rid of. that whole house is going to need to be gone through eventually so i thought, mine as well start. there was a neat old photo there of a bunch of ladies at what looked at like maybe a telephone call center? it appeared to have everyones name on the back of it but the writing was very very faded.
i did not get a chance to look through very much stuff before my dad was finished.
on the way back we stopped several times by the side of the road to pick roses in the ditch & i ended up getting quite a few, so that was great! super duper.
when we got back my dad had me order him Chinese food & it just got here. it actually smells kind of gross. i think i am going to go eat some though because i am hungry & i like rice!
Thursday, July 2nd, 2015
2:21 am
ugh. my back hurts
i am getting old. do a bit of work & i have aches and pains for a week!
i have been tying to make arrangements to pick up a camera i am buying from some girl & it is proving difficult
i was going to get a ride from my dad to go pick it up tomorrow, but that might not work out
so it seems like she might be dropping it off
i am fortunate that she is being so patient with me
i first contacted her about it at the beginning of june when i had my cold & she has held on to it for me

so i have more health concerns
i went to the washroom earlier today & noticed blood on the toilet paper
its not time for my period
i had some spotting a few days ago as well, but this was more blood
i also had a little bit of spotting for a day or two in between my last two periods (during the time i was sick with the cold stuff)
another concern is that day awhile back, i had to look up the date and it was may 15th, when i woke up with the really really really bad pelvic pain
& then when i went out to talk to my sister i got kinda light headed and collapsed on the grass
i have not had bad pelvic pain like that since
i may have had some pelvic pain, i am not sure, i have random pelvic pain & usually do not pay much attention to it
i have a history of ovarian cysts & usually just chalk it up to that
but the concern is that because of the lynch syndrome i have a much higher risk of ...
i thought it was uterine, but i was just looking it up & i guess it is endometrial cancer
i guess i have a 20 - 60% greater chance (than the general public?) of contracting endometrial cancer
& i never go for testing, like pap smears or those sort of annual check ups that a person is supposed to go for
i suppose i should do that
Friday, June 26th, 2015
10:51 pm
it is hot out!
& i did a crap load of yard work
i cleaned out the raspberry patch beside the garage
i cut out the branches of a tree that is trying to grow there & pulled out enough creeping bell flower to clear out a good path so that you can walk through and access all the raspberry bushes
hopefully there will be a lot of raspberries this year!
the nanking cherry that is in there looks like it is going to have lots of berries!
for some reason that tree bloomed, and so is going to have berries, earlier than all the other trees (the one in the back yard and the one in my parents yard) this year
then i cleaned up and pulled out all the weeds in the area behind my house where i am planning on building a bench area
there is a screen door back there & this big roll of linoleum & a bunch of scrap metal that i had to move around
its still all there, i have to ask my dad about what to do with it
also there is a tree growing back there too, i am going to have to cut off all the branches and ask my dad about what to do with it
the bench is going to be in a corner and built with cinder blocks and then have plywood as a seat with storage underneath
then i am going to have to sew some cushions for the seating and the backs
if it gets done & works how i have it my head it will look good!
we have cinder blocks, but they are on the other end of the yard, so ugh.
my plants are all doing fairly good except for my herb plants
i planted some thyme, sage, rosemary & oregano at the side of my house & the sage, rosemary and oregano are doing crappy crap crappy
i really do not know why?
before i did the yard work i was taking pictures of flowers
& i ended up sitting on the lawn in my folks yard in front of a single daisy and took a bunch of pictures of it
i ended up taking a series of a gazillion pictures of this daisy
i took a lot of them using the fisheye filter, which i almost never use because ..well, i just dont usually like it
i think some of them turned out really neat though!
i have not uploaded them
i ended up taking so many pictures though that my camera got pretty hot, boo!
so it rested in the shade while i did yard work
now i am relaxing
hopefully i will get swiss to go tomorrow!
i have tried twice this week!
tuesday i went and they were out of bread, today i went & they were closed! i got there at 7 & they close at 7 (so early! who knew?)
i want a sandwich!
this weekend is supposed to be even hotter
so hopefully i can stay cool
i bought a bunch of limes at H&W the other day to make italian ice
i should get to it!
maybe later tonight
or tomorrow?
Friday, June 19th, 2015
1:23 am
ugh. i have a pain!!!
i am pretty sure its a sinus thing
i had the same thing ..2 days ago i think?
its a headache type thing, center of my forehead above my eyes
i just took an advil & hopefully that will help
other than that i have been feeling pretty good today!
i did a bunch of yard work
& then i did some stuff at home
i made some candied peony flowers .. or flower petals i guess
i had wanted to candy some lilac flowers
i had wanted to do a bunch of stuff with lilac flowers
but i kinda missed the season
they were all in bloom and then while i was sick they all finished and now they are gone!
i DID make some lilac syrup!
& today i kinda turned that into some sort of popsicles
i made them with the lilac syrup, some lime juice & some rose water
& then i put some shreds of peony petals in them
there was only enough stuff to make 3 of them, but i hope they look pretty
& the mix tasted pretty good too!

i have been making 3D photos!
it is fun stuff!
well, i take the photos & turn them into 3D photos in the photo editor
i took a bunch of new photos to work on today
i took some cloud photos, because i am hoping to get a nice 3D sky photo
& a bunch of plant photos as well, because that is easy enough, they do not move on me
when i was taking photos of this one plant in the back there was lots of bees!
well, really i think it was just 2 or 3 bees but they were moving around the same plant
its a large plant with lots of little flowers
so i was trying to take bee photos!
i got a couple of ok ones i think! i have not really reviewed them yet
but the autofocus on my camera is being wonky
it was not even wanting to focus on the flowers when i was just taking a picture of the flower
so, focusing on a bee .. i dont think so
anyway.. photo fun!
Wednesday, June 17th, 2015
10:03 pm
i have been attacked by an evil creature!!!!
well.. i was stung, or bitten or something?
by a wasp or a bee i think
i was going into my house and all of the sudden - OUCH!
pain in my foot! it was in my shoe! i looked down, i think i heard a buzz, there was this big blackish thingy. i kicked it off with my other foot.
i tried to look for it on the door mat, which is where abouts i kicked it off but i could not find it
it could have fell between the boards under the deck
it was bigish & blackish
& like i said, i think i heard a buzzing around when i had the ouch
it HURT, stupid thing
i did not see a stinger left in me though, only a big red spot
i have only ever been stung a couple of times
once by a wasp, i sat on it, unintentionally of course, but i understand its reaction
and once by a bee
it was in my hair, in the back, i felt something move, it just seemed like wind or a leaf or something, so i went to brush it off and it grabbed my finger and stung me
i had kind of a weird reaction to that one, it made my finger swell up a lot
but more so i had a strange psychological reaction to it - and this was before i started having any sort of mental health issues
from what i remember i think i got really hyper and anxious for most of the day (it happened first class in school) and then at the end of the day i kinda crashed and felt really down and weird
so.. who knows what that means?
this one barely hurts anymore anyway, it might if i put shoes on though
but i wish i knew what it was that bit me
i would be a bit more confident if what i saw was more yellow
it happened quite quickly though.
Tuesday, June 16th, 2015
7:46 pm
hello journal!
i had a mouse in my house!!!!!!!
last night when i went home i kept hearing this metallic knocking noise
i heard it when i was in the washroom, over the sound of the fan (i have this stupid fan that turns on automatically when you turn on the lights, you can not shut it off, it annoys me, but oh well)
i would turn off the lights and listen and ..nothing... so i would go about my business..
i heard it several times
i thought it might be the furnace because i have an older house and that furnace likes to make weird noises
but it is warm out and the furnace should not be turning on at all
when i was in bed i heard it again a few times
i have a live mouse trap in my house from quite awhile ago when i had a bit of a mouse problem
i thought that maybe that was what it was so i poked at it, shook it a bit, but nothing
every time the noise would happen and i would get up and listen it would stop
but i did hear for sure that it was not coming from downstairs
finally i decided the only thing it could be was that mouse trap, so i took the thing and put it outside the door
the next morning when i left i had a look at it and there is a little window at the top and a little mouse was looking up at me!!!
i put it over in the shade till i could tell my dad because it was hot out and i did not want to leave it in the sun
so i guess my dad released it somewhere and reset the trap and put it back in my house
or he killed it and just told me he let it go

i had a drB appointment today
that went fine, but it was a bit tiring
i am feeling a lot better than i have been though
i am just a bit stuffed up & i have an occasional cough
though right now i have this weird sinus pressure in my forehead
it is icky
it is just kinda right between my eyes and up a bit
& it is pain & pressure
i hope it goes away soon!

i am hoping to make some silkscreen type things for my mushroom mailart call
& i have been working on the designs
i think they will turn out well!
but i do not know what type of material i can use for the screens
i have read used nylons work, but what else???
i would like to go to the fabric store sometime in the near future for other reasons
& maybe i can buy something there

i am also wanting to build a corner bench in my back yard
there is a pallet of cinder blocks that is sitting back there
so i hope to use those
& i have some outdoor christmas lights that are blue that i can hang up
it will be lovely!
Saturday, June 13th, 2015
1:55 am
well, i am STILL sick
i went to the doc yesterday & he gave me some antibiotics
& i think that is going to help
actually i think starting on wednesday i have been starting to get a bit better
but yuck.
so.. monday evening i noticed something a bit disconcerting
i had got myself a bowl of grape tomatoes and i was watching tv and looking at a book or doing whatever & i just randomly picked up a little tomato and went to eat it and ....um..ouchish.
i couldnt really fit it in my mouth
i had to push it past my teeth to get it in my mouth and it hurt a tad when i did that
so that is when i noticed that i could not open my jaw very wide anymore
which i figure was a symptom of my sinus infection
it did not hurt, but it is super weird!
in fact i could only open my mouth wide enough to maybe fit 2 fingers in, which is not very wide
but today i can now almost open my mouth all the way
i do not have a very big mouth to begin with & also when i open it all the way normally it kinda pops and locks ..strange, but whatever
so, i have taken 4 doses of antibiotics
i still feel cold symptom-y and fairly yucky, but my sinus infection-y type stuff is getting a bit better already, the jaw & less pain in the side my face/eye
so that is good
i am still blowing so much crap out my nose though
this is ridiculous
i would not be surprised if more crap has come out my nose in the past week than in the rest of my whole life
hopefully by the end of the weekend i will be feeling much much better!
Sunday, June 7th, 2015
11:56 pm
i have been SO tired
i have been sleeping LOT and LOTS and LOTS
today i attempted to spend a bit of time outside to get some fresh air
but i am just exhausted
also, just for kicks, i think i have developed a sinus infection
on my right side the area above my teeth and up into my eye hurt
so not fun
i tested my temp. with the fever tester tonight & it was pretty high
it was DARK blue and the F was brown with tinges of green
according to my mom's notes, that she figured out from when we were kids, that means a fever of roughly 102F
well, above 100 anyway
hopefully i will make a doctors appointment tomorrow
& cancel my drB2 appointment on wed.
because i am just too tired to go to that
Thursday, June 4th, 2015
10:40 pm
i feel so ugh.
my head is just draining. my nose is so full of crap. my eyes are watering.
& every once and awhile to make things perfect i cough a bit, which just kinda hurts my throat
but on the positive, my throat does not hurt so bad
i no longer have pain every time i swallow, so that is fantastic
it is just scratchy and dry and i need to have a drink or something with me because if i dont, after a few min it will start to feel horrible
i just have this cold
plus, well, i know i had a bit of a fever earlier cause i tested myself with the fever tester
i ended up doing a bit of planting this evening, i just finished that
because i have some little plants that are going to die if they dont get planted soon
i have to plant my sweet potatoes tomorrow
they should have been planted weeks ago
oh well.
but i noticed that one of the blueberry plants has some blossoms on it! so that is exciting!
when i came in and washed my hands i looked at myself in the mirror and yikes!
i have not showered in SO LONG!
i know that is horrible, but i dont think i have this whole week i have been sick
its just that every opportunity i have had to i have felt horrible, super hot or super tired and just went to bed
fortunately i do not have to go out and socialize or anything like that
i know there have been several times throughout the week where i have felt super cold and thought a shower would be nice
but by the time i get home and whatnot i am dead
or i fall asleep on the couch at my folks place and never even get home
i have missed my evening pills a whole bunch of times this week because i have just fell asleep
and it is not like i feel refreshed in the morning
i feel horrible in the morning! the morning is the worst of all
i cant breathe and my throat is dry and sore and yuck.
but hopefully this will pass soon enough
my gland or node or whatever is still big, i dont think it is as big as it was at its worst, but i think you can still see it sticking out of my neck
i took a picture of it yesterday
but it does not hurt anymore, so ok...
the one on the opposite side is a bit swollen now too & sore
i was going to say that i just hope i dont develop a bad cough
but then i was going to say i would jinx myself
but i already said it, so..
here's hoping!
Wednesday, June 3rd, 2015
10:38 pm
update on how i am feeling
so, today i feel kinda full blown cold-ish
my nose is so full of crap
i keep having to blow it over and over and over and over again
& i am so stuffed up
my throat is kinda scratchy in general
"the gland" is actually a little better, it feels scratchy, but the stabbing every time i swallow is not as bad, still there a bit, but not so bad
my eyes are watering
and my nose! ugh. so so runny & full of crap
i have used a gazillion kleenexes and ugh.
but my throat is dry feeling
so i have been sucking on ricola
my voice is not so bad though, so that is probably good
but this is yucky
maybe this will all work itself out though now (i hope)
i did not wake up in time to make a doctors appointment
& i kinda feel like if i went now they would just be like, its a cold, nothing to do about that
so.. whatever
suffer through it!
12:07 am
so, i still have this sore throat
it still feels like i am being stabbed in the neck when i swallow
but i am sooo happy
because yesterday i hurt SO MUCH
oh it was awful!
i started taking advil liquigels, which were helping a bit
but i was limiting myself to 1 every 4 hours, which was spreading out the maximum dose throughout the day
after 30min to an hour they would kick in and i would no longer be in excruciating pain and that would last for a couple of hours
the hour before i could take another one would be terrible
the pain was almost throbbing and even radiating into my jaw and ear almost
most of my glands have died down except for the one on the left
and that one is so swollen, probably like golf ball size almost
you can see a bulge in my throat where it is
at about 4:30 i think?AM i was finally able to take another advil & decided to take a tylenol with it as well
it was making me a bit sleepy & at around 5:30 i went to bed for the night
& i slept a whole night through!!!!!!!
in fact i think i woke up at around 4, so i slept over 10 hours! SO nice!
and at that time i was not feeling fantastic in my gut so i went back to bed for a bit longer and got up at around 6:30
previous nights i have been sleeping for only a few hours at a time
and when i got up i was not in horrible horrible horrible pain
i mean, my throat was quite dry and full of crap and sore and hurt and all that junk
but not nearly as bad as yesterday
i was thinking yesterday that i would go to the walk in clinic today, but today i decided that i think i am just going to make an appointment at my regular doctors office
also my voice is so wonky
i dont know if it was last time i wrote stuff
i think that this swollen gland must be pressing on my vocal chords?

but in more positive stuff
i was playing with my little tiny camera yesterday
i guess they are sometimes called spy cameras? it is just mini mini, about an inch by 1.5 maybe?
but i finally figured out how to change the datestamp on it! before it said 2012
i tried to get it off completely, because that would be better
but i could not make that work
oh well.
here is a little pic i took of the irises in my front yard

it does not take very good photos

i also finished building my twin lens reflex camera yesterday too!
it is pretty nifty!
& then i put film in it tonight
so, hopefully it works & all that stuff

you look into the top for the viewfinder
& you see what you take the picture of
fun fun!

hopefully i will feel better soon
because this whole throat thing pretty much just sucks
at least i dont have any appointments or things like that this week

and ugh.
my connection is out, so i cant post this anyway.
stupid computer.
Sunday, May 31st, 2015
11:21 pm
so, ugh.
i have this nasty sore throat
nasty nasty nasty
the worst sore throat i have had in a really really really long time
it pretty much just hurts when i swallow
but it hurts like someone is stabbing me in the neck with a knife
and you actually swallow a lot during the day because you are constantly producing saliva
it seems now sort of like things are coming up from inside my throat too, which is weird
also various glands in my neck are inflamed and swollen
so pretty much if you touch my neck that hurts
not that people are coming around touching my neck..
turning my head certain ways is sore and painful too because of the swollen glands
there are the ones kinda under your chin .. and the one on the left is really big
that is the location where my throat hurts the most
the first day my throat only hurt on the one spot, on the left side in that area, but it hurt quite a bit & it still hurts worst there ..the stab in my neck when i swallow
and then there are some glands more under your ears & the one on the right is really quite tender
& i have had this stupid sore throat for 4 days already
i dont really feel badly otherwise
i mean, i do not feel great & i am tired, but i do not have a terrible cold or anything
just this nasty nasty nasty throat thing
that HURTS!
like swallowing glass
it is not fun.

but i did do a little bit of yardwork today
got some areas in the back ready to plant my potatoes
& did some figuring out
i am going to plant my broccoli and cauliflower by the garage in the back yard
& there are these boxes where i am going to plant the potatoes
the flowers are all going in the front
& i am going to have all the herbs at the side of the house
i should have had a lot of this work done already, but oh well.
i had bought a little 2 tiered green house before & put it together in my living room
so i put that outside and put all my little seedlings and stuff out there
so that they had some protection & can get used to outside weather
& hopefully i will get everything planted in the next few days

we (me & my family) did this walk yesterday
well, it was really a run, but you could walk it
it was 5km & was for awareness and to raise funds for women's mental health issues
the money here went to the lois hole's women's hospital
..i forget exactly what it was for but something to do with mental health issues in regards to pregnancy and that sort of things
which is pretty good, it is not something that is talked about a lot

i was fooling around with my tiny spy camera today too
& i figured out how to change the date stamp on it to the correct date
so that is great!
i tried to get rid of the date all together though & that did not work
so boo to that

i would go to the doc about this throat thing but i dont think he would do anything
it is probably a virus and there is nothing that can be done about that
it is making me feel pretty depressed actually
i am just sitting around feeling ick dreading every time i have to swallow
& nothing i have done has really helped
i have taken tylenol, i have taken lozenges, i have drank cold drinks, hot drinks..
i should try some honey, i have not tried that
i hope i feel better soon
or my head falls off
Sunday, May 24th, 2015
8:40 pm
hi hi
i went out to the farm today with my mom & dad
my dad has to read a meter for power or something & send in the number every month, so that is why we went
my dad goes more often to take care of the yard and whatnot
but its just not really the same without grandma
me & mom looked around her perennial garden in the front of the house
there was not much coming up yet, but stuff is starting to!
there were some red tulips
& there were these little blue flowers, they were so pretty!
they were just scattered about & seemed to just be finishing blooming
but we did find a clump of them near the house in full bloom
so i did some research online and figured out that they are a type of scilla?
i love blue flowers
i think my mom should dig some up and put them in her front yard
it is nice and shady and everything is low down and good for small flowers
i want to get some of grandmas bachelors buttons and put them in my yard
they were not coming up yet though.. so.. later i guess
i took a little walk along this hill & there were SO MANY wild strawberries!!!!
they were in bloom at the moment & there were little strawberry blossoms everywhere
i think more than i have ever seen!
i know at the top of that little hill was pretty much always the best place for them
but they were all over that field!
i know that last year the girls, well scarlett anyway, wanted to pick wild strawberries
hopefully they will get a chance to go out there this summer and do that
because this year there would be enough to fill a small container with them
thats the only bad thing about wild strawberries, they are so tiny!
we went in the house for a bit & i knew that on a shelf in one of the rooms there was some of my grandma's pottery
so i went in there and looked through it a bit and i brought home 2 little containers that she made & a little pottery cylinder that someone else must have made because it has another signature on the bottom (but it is really thin and hard to read)

when we got back in the city we met my sister at starbucks
me & her were supposed to go there for iced tea because we had both got email coupons for double bonus stars with an iced tea purchase (whoo hoo)
so, we did that
& then we all stopped at tokyo express and picked up some food
i got a veggie noodle bowl & when i got home and opened up & looked at it it was only half full!!
i guess they filled it only as much as they fill the meat ones and just left off the meat.. but.. that does not seem right.
no.. that is not right. i have got them before & they fill them more full
+ i am supposed to get some other veggies on top (cold ones, i do not know why?) and a few slices of tofu!
i wonder if i still have the receipt?
i should.. i had it.. i just dont remember where i put it.
cause the bowl is just half full of noodles with no toppings at all
hopefully they have someplace i can just email them about this?

it has been pretty warm the last few days
i am hoping to do a little more yard work this evening
i should do it soon though because it is already 8:30
i am working up the side of the house and it is LOTS of work
in the end i hope to have a little herb garden there
& hopefully plant some veggies!
i also want to make a little fence out of branches, but i dont know if that will get done
i am almost done pulling all the weeds
but that is not even half of it!
after that i need to break up the dirt and get out all the grass roots!!!
in the end it should be really nice though!
Saturday, May 16th, 2015
12:17 am
hello journal!
i have not posted in a long time
today i am feeling a bit off
i had to wake up early because i had plans to go out for lunch with my sister because she had the day off work
so i had my mom phone me to wake me up
when i woke up i was kinda laying on my stomach, which is not so good
usually when i wake up on my stomach i am uncomfortable and kinda hurt a bit in my ribcage area, kinda from pressure i guess.. but it goes away in a few min.
but i woke up my shoulder hurt from the way i was sleeping & i was quite a bit of pain
it was pain in my pelvic area.. quite bad
i felt quite icky.
i got up and went and called my mom back and told her i was up so she would stop calling
then i went to the washroom and thought maybe it would be some sort of washroom issue (the pain that is)
and then i went and sat on my bed for a bit & my sister called and left a message saying she was there outside in her car
i was not even dressed or anything & the clothes i was going to wear were across the street at my folks place
i was still in a bunch of pain but i got up and went to talk to her & i asked her if maybe we could wait half an hour or so
she asked why? & i said i was kinda in pain (i was thinking it would just pass)
i dont really remember what she said or if she said something
but i was starting to feel really light headed and so i thought i would go inside cause i needed to get dressed anyway
i walked around the car onto the boulevard & i collapsed on the ground!
i did not lose consciousness or anything, but i just was standing and then i couldnt and fell on the ground
luckily i was on the grass or i could of hurt myself!
i just laid there for a bit
i heard my sister call out to me but it kinda sounded like she was far away
she asked if i needed to go to the doctor and stuff like that but then she came and i sat up and i said i was fine
i just sat there for a bit and she asked me some questions
and then i started to get cold and so i said we should go inside & i should drink some water because maybe i was dehydrated or something
it sucked though because we had had these plans for weeks! & i had been looking forward to it
after a bit i was not in so much pain anymore & we decided to go pick up some food & go back to my sisters house & watch a movie
& it was an enjoyable afternoon

other than that things have been going pretty well!
i have been doing a bit of yard work & planning
hopefully the summer will be good in regards to that stuff
also, my cousin has been coming over every week to do art projects!!!
& this has kept me inspired to do more mailart & other stuff throughout the rest of the week
so.. that is always good!
i started a new mailart call just to get myself immersed in it
i always tend to be a bit more involved if i have a bit of responsibility

but it is later than i would like it to be
& i want to go across the street & eat my leftover pizza!
hopefully i will keep on writing here more
because that is another good thing for me to do too!
good good.
Monday, April 20th, 2015
11:34 pm
lemon leaves dont smell, stupid pinterest
ugh. sometimes that site annoys me.
i see those postings for growing lemons all the freaking time
there are lots of stupid misinformation posts on there really...
lemon leaves do not smell like lemons.

so.. my cold is getting much better
my throat is not really sore much & the glands in my neck are not as painful
so that is good

i did a bit of yardwork today
i raked up this area by the garage & moved these pieces of old car or something? that were there
there are these other metal .. things? with legs there that i dont think can really be moved because the cherry tree is growing right through them
but thats ok
i can work around them
i wasnt really planning on it, but i think i might try and get in and clean out the raspberry patch a bit before it starts growing for the year
right now i can see in there because its just a bunch of sticks
also, the blueberries i planted last year are starting to come back!!! they have little buds on some of the branches!
i am so happy about that!
i got them super super cheep at the end of the season & planted them pretty late, so i was not sure if they would even come back
also most of the perennials i planted in the front are already up! so yay to that!
this year i want to do a bunch of work at the side of the house, plant some stuff there
& maybe try and make the area right behind my house a little bit nicer so that i can go and sit out there & do stuff!

in not so great news, i am a little bit concerned about my toe
just because it is not really getting any better
i think i will try and make a dr appointment tomorrow
i mean, if it is broken there is not really anything they can do for a broken toe anyway i dont think
but he might have a few tips on how to tape it up or something?
cause i was looking & i think i hurt it on the 9th or 10th?
so that is over a week ago
it doesnt hurt too bad really unless i bump it against something, step on it a little funny, or step on something uneven
OR walking sometimes
or when i put shoes on & walk
i got out my crocs because they happen to be really comfy shoes that are pretty wide and i figured they would not put much pressure on it, so i have been using those
i attempted to put my regular shoes on again today & that was pretty ouch
yesterday i did a little bit of walking (and by that i mean i went to the grocery store) & after that my foot was pretty sore
so.. this has a week and a half, if it was just a bump it should be getting much better by now
& at least if i go to the doc i can find out what exactly is wrong & get an idea of what i should be doing & how much i should be pushing myself
cause who knows.. i could be doing more damage
i kinda looked up some pictures online of broken little toes, and some of the bruising patterns matched what i have had..so.. ugh.
stupid toe.
i must have really needed to go to the washroom or something?

in good news..
i made pizza dough & i am going to go make me some pizza!
hopefully it is super duper yummy!
i need to find some sort of sauce to use though, because i think we dont have any..
i am sure we have some sort of pasta sauce though.. that will have to do
and roasted veggies! i need more broccoli!!!!!
Friday, April 17th, 2015
1:50 am

so, i hurt my toe right?
when i walked into the door frame
and the consensus seems to be that i may have broke it
because well, it bruised up really bad after that
& well.. i dont know why.
anyway.. we are signed up to do this walk for the kids help phone in the beginning of may
it is a 5km walk
i do not usually walk 5km
i am sure i can do it, but...
i had previously planned to walk part way home from downtown after my doctors appointments to just get in the habit of walking that distance
walking from drBs to stadium station is 5ks, from drB2s is 4ks
so, i had a drB2 appointment yesterday & i had previously planned to walk that distance
however, just walking half a block to the bus and my foot hurt
after my appointment however i decided to walk to the downtown mall to look at the dollarstore
this is just under 2kms, not that far really
so, i did that, looked at the store, then i took the bus to the walmart near my place to get some fruit & then i went home
well.. my foot hurt
i thought after some rest it would be better, but it hurt all night
at the end of the night my mom noticed that my whole foot & ankle were swollen quite a bit
stupid foot

& then today i woke up with a cold starting
i was feeling it a bit last night & hoping it would just go away
but i woke up this morning with a sore sore throat
i was doing a bit of things in my kitchen at home & started to feel super hot and like i was going to pass out
so i had to go lay down and take off some of my clothes to cool off
after a bit i felt somewhat better, i put on cooler clothes and came over to my folks place because people were coming over for a movie night
so we watched a movie
but my body feels sore and weak
my throat hurts
i have glands in my neck that are swollen and sore
and i just feel plain old icky
my foot however feels somewhat better than yesterday, so that is good.
i am hoping that this cold does not get any worse than this though
because i do not like it
not one bit.
Friday, April 10th, 2015
9:20 pm
hello world.

did i tell you that i hurt my toe!
ugh. so.. i guess that i woke up to go to the washroom in the middle of the night (i dont really remember that part) but instead of walking through the door into the washroom i walked straight into the door frame
ouch. that kinda woke me up.
i banged my whole body into it, but the worst part was i kicked it with my little toe somehow & it HURT!
when i took my sock off the next evening i saw that the top of my toe (at the joint near my foot) was all bruised & dark purple & whatnot
that evening when i was at home..
i have this little stool in my kitchen area, which is kinda like a hallway, and as i was walking through to my bedroom i accidentally walked into/kicked the stupid stool with my injured little toe. OUCH!!!! that hurt lots! i have done that before with that stupid stool & i try not to keep it there but usually i just leave it wherever i used it last just pushed up to the wall..
today my toe is still all bruised and the bruise has radiated down into a yellowish/greenish circle that extends about an inch - 1.5" down my foot
i might have broke it?
i think it is my other little toe that i probably broke before
i never went to the doc about it but years later i had that foot xrayed for something else and asked the doc about it & he said it looked like it had been broken in the past
that toe was a little displaced i think too
it no longer touches the floor when i am standing normally & i cant really move it properly
stupid toes
as long as i dont bang this one again things should be fine

my cousin is turning 30
my aunt has asked me to make some iced tea for her birthday dinner on sunday
i am going to make some syrups to sweeten them
definitely a citrus one, i have lemons & limes that need using up + we have some oranges if i want to use that
& maybe some strawberry stuff because that just sounds good & i know there are strawberries on sale this week

oh! i made carrot fries yesterday
from here:
they were so good!
i normally do not like cooked carrots. i dont mind roasted carrots.
but these tasted like something totally different! kinda like sweet potato fries, but different! i really liked them! i think i will make more tonight.
plus i made a big tray full & it was only around 200 calories

i was going to write a bit about my feelings & thoughts about that sort of stuff but i have decided against it. i have not been depressed lately, which is super good! but i have been stuck, which is not. i have also been rather isolated which is not so good (though i dont really feel lonely). i dont know. i am a confused creature.
instead i will make these:
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