cute timmy

(no subject)

hello dear journal.
so, today is a blah day. a very blah day.
my furnace konked out on me last night. i decided to just have a hot shower and sleep in warmer clothes and curl up under the covers and hope it would be fine & i guess it was, but when i woke up i was pretty cold. & i have had somewhat of a chill all day.
i have been feeling down today, down down down.
i had a drB appointment & gosh. i started crying in there. i dont think i have cried in there for ages. maybe years. i have been so damn weepy lately & i think it hormones but damn.
fortunately it is him & he is one of the only people on this earth that i trust, so yeah.
on the way home i got little hot chocolate at tim hortons, they have the white hot chocolate at the downtown one & i had never tried that before so i got to do that. it was pretty good i guess, ok, well, i dont know. it was sweet. it was not as good as their regular hot chocolate, they have good hot chocolate. second cup has really good white hot chocolate. i guess i wouldnt get it again though because their regular hot chocolate is much better. they had dark hot chocolate once, i tried that, it was yucky.
so then i went and checked my mail, and then i went and got ~swiss to go~ i havent eaten it yet, but it will be super yummy & i am looking forward to that. they have a card, you get a thing marked off every time you go and once you get 10 you get a free one & i got my free sandwhich today. they have desserts there too & i had decided to get a dessert, i picked out this sour cherry cheesecake thing and he rang it in at $7.35 ...wowza. yikes. holy crap. i mean, i was expecting it to be expensive, but i was thinking around the $5 range not over $7! but whatever, i got it anyway today. then i went to dollarama because i have been looking for little squirt bottles to try something new for glazing for pottery, well, i didnt really find any but i found these little drink bottles that i think might work, they were 2/$1 so i got them. that's another thing, i did not want to pay a lot, i had found squirt bottles before but they were $1 each or more and that was too much, i dont want to pay a lot for things i will use 1 time and might not even achieve a good result.
i also got some little christmas bags. i am a sucker for little bags. i have this whole little box full of little bags, i dont know why? & i got some little stickers because i want to send my cousin a nice little envelope with some stuff because it is her birthday the beginning of december and she just moved to england & i need things that are flat and light weight because i dont want to send anything big. i will send something bigger for christmas.
i got some other little crap too but i cant even remember. a little star hole punch, a little box, oh yeah. some sort of crayola 3D colouring thing. i have been finding all this 3D crap in the kids section at dollar stores lately. i am not even sure what it is though, i havent opened it. last thing i found was this "frozen" drawing pad, it was basically red/blue grid paper that came with a pair of 3D glasses.
i also walked home.. from the post office, the 15 or so blocks, because i thought it would do me some good. a walk in the cold. might snap the sad from me. but it didnt.
ive been looking at crap online all evening.
i uploaded some nifty photos i took of lights in the rain onto my flickr page
https://www.flickr.com/photos/dystatic/
they turned out really neat, but even that didnt cheer me up.
& i am going to post them onto my ~new~ photo blog thingy that i made the other day but hadnt posted to
its.. what is it? notgoodatnames.blogspot.com
i just have this dark feeling today
it sucks.
i am sure it will go away. but i just dont like today at all.
ok now, bye.
cute timmy

(no subject)

oh journal journal, it has been almost 2 months and i have been ignoring the heck out of you.
so sad.
so, how has life been? well.. it has been pretty good i guess. same sort of stuff. i have been keeping busy. i have been making art again, so that is a big plus. i have been trying to take care of myself. i think i have been doing a pretty good job, it gets hard sometimes, but i think i have been doing ok.
the past couple of days i have been super weepy, but i am 100% sure that that is because of my period. well, that and because i have been thinking too much, never a good thing. thinking and hormones, ugh. so, i have been trying to just ride it out and pay it no mind.
i know how my life is, i do, i know that i can not judge it in black & white, in good & bad. it is not a normal life, it never will be, so, i just have to know when to take the reins and when to let them go and catch up to it later.
so then.
what else? as far as things go, i have been making a bunch of stuff, so that makes me happy. i have been taking pottery class & my cousin took it with me this time, so that was nice. there are only 2 more classes, none this week because of rememberance day though. next class is the last building class and i have a (plant)pot that i made that may or may not be just garbage because i made it 2 weeks ago and forgot about it, so it might be dried up and not good for anything. i started making a mug last week for my sister, so i will get to finish that up, and i think i want to try to make either a little plate or a little bowl next week and that is all i want to do. this time i have been soooooo sloooooooow at doing things. i dont know why, but everything is taking so long. it's not a big deal though. the last class is just for glazing, and i am hoping to try and do some new glazing techniques, but i am having a bit of a difficult time finding information on how to do that? i tried taking some books from the library but they were useless. i tried looking at some stuff online but didnt really find the information that i need. so.. i am going to wing it. hopefully i will get some different effects. hopefully i can wax the bottoms of my stuff next class so i have the entire glaze class to do just that.
my one friend's dad died recently, so, i have tried to be there for her. which, i should have called her today but i didnt. i will have to call her tomorrow. i just want to be sure i dont wait weeks between calling her.
i saw a post somewhere about gift wrapping at the mall, so i contacted them about volunteering & have emailed a couple times. someone should be calling me this week, so that's good. i like wrapping stuff.
i have been helping my sister out at school once a week or so, doing busy work, photocopying, cutting things, putting up bulletin boards, etc... whatever she needs done.
today i finally got some of mushroom documentation photocopied. i finished making it and finally copied some, only 10 copies though & for some reason earlier in the day i was thinking i only had to copy 20 more, i though i only needed 30 but no, i need to make 70!!! but regardless, they look super! i am so happy with how they turned out! so i am really pleased about that.
i also copied this little photozine i made awhile ago that i just never got around to copying, it is square and is just pictures of trees with no leaves on them. i want to sew bind it though, so they are not bound. i only made 12 copies and i only ever plan to make 24 of them.
also, i was making some ecodyes earlier & while doing that i had an idea for my christmas cards!~ i am super excited about that. well, as long as they turn out that is. they better! (i hope) but i will not say more as i feel i might jinx myself.
so this month is going to be a lot of working on christmas gifts i think. a lot of sewing, which i am not very good at, so, ugh. i tried making a bag earlier and it turned out pretty good except for the straps, they were funky, so, i dont know, i have to work on those. it is just a shopping bag. i think i am going to do a lot of little patchwork pillows because that sounds like something i would like to do, but maybe it will be really hard and frustrating and i will end up screaming and breaking my mom's sewing machine, so i dont know.
i am making a package of zines and stuff to send some guy in the states who is really nice. so that is good stuff and i should go finish doing that.
cute timmy

(no subject)

hey journal.
so, things have been a bit rough the past few weeks i guess, kinda, sorta, not really, yeah.
i mean, they have in a way but i have been trying really hard to not let it get me down.
also, i think it could be partially pms, so there is that.
my mini existential crisis is getting a bit better, i did not explain it very well on here, but it is getting a bit better i think, i hope. i am feeling a bit less conflicted i think.
i guess i feel a bit comforted in the knowledge that i have been through a lot of crap and it passes, so, i am feeling a bit shitty, but it will pass, just gotta ride it out i guess.
ugh.
so, i was hoping i could chat with some people on aim. i had not thought of it for awhile, i guess i figured you had to download it and i do not have my own computer still (well, i do but no internet access), but i thought i would look it up. i did one night just before i was going to shut things down and it is there, ta-da, my account and everything! and jason was online! but i really needed to leave, so i just shut down and was hopeful that he would be online again but every other time i have checked it out he has not been online. he doesnt talk to me anymore which makes me very sad. i tried emailing him again at the beginning of the year but no response. i dont know if he just hates me or never really cared in the first place?
i have been having some gut stuff the past few days, so i have been feeling nauseous the past 2 days, so that sucks. i did a bunch of ecodyes yesterday, which i am kinda excited about. i am attempting to replicate 2 i did before so that i have enough cloth to make some bags, so hopefully that works, and then i did 3 more smaller experiments
i have also been doing some photo transfers onto old baking sheets, some of which i am rusting too, and then i will hang them on my wall in my kitchen so i can put up my magnet collection on them. i used to do magnet exchanges with people, so i have a bunch of handmade magnets and i need somewhere to put them.
so, i have been working on things and that has been keeping me sane and content.
also my camera is back! yay! so, thats good! i want to go to borden park this week, there are a bunch of sculptures there and some small fountains and i want to take a bunch of anaglyph photos. i took the program to make them and also all my photo files and loaded them on my computer at home, so that is another thing i get to work on there too, so that is also good. anaglyphs! speaking of that, i need to order some more 3d glasses, because i want to do a project with them. i had ordered a 10pack, but i want to order a few more.
also, last thing because it is getting late and i want to go, i found an interesting bible verse online today:

Let beer be for those who are perishing,
wine for those who are in anguish!
Let them drink and forget their poverty
and remember their misery no more.

Speak up for those who cannot speak for themselves,
for the rights of all who are destitute.
Speak up and judge fairly;
defend the rights of the poor and needy.

Proverbs 31:6-9

ok, i lied. i forgot, i also looked up about intermittent fasting today, which seems pretty logical to me. it is pretty much how i eat except that i pretty much make sure that i eat something when i wake up, but if i dont it is not a big deal, so, why bother? so, i think i might implement that? it is fast 16hrs a day then you can eat for 8hrs, but i read one place that for women it is fasting 14hrs, eat 10? ..it is typically for bodybuilder types, but i am just a lazy person, so i dont know, i will have to think about times and which one works better for me? give it a week and see how i feel. or i might start after tomorrow because i might be going out for breakfast tomorrow at normal people breakfast hours, so, whatever.
cute timmy

(no subject)

ugh.
so i have been going through a little bit of a tiny existential crisis of sorts lately.
i just feel this really huge disconnect i guess.
& life has been going pretty great lately, so i am not sure where this is coming from?
i had a bit of a breakthrough today when i was thinking things out with myself and god, but i still feel just, i dont know... tearful and alone.
i was kinda feeling sorry for myself, about how alone things are right now and how it would be nice to just have some understanding, to just have someone even want to try to understand. how all the people i have really cared about have left me and how that has made me distrustful.
and i am being a bit dramatic here, not in the fact that i am distrustful, but i do have a family who is wonderful and supportive in what i can only guess is the best way they know how, even though it is not often the way i need.
but anyway, i was lamenting and just getting out thoughts and it struck me ... grant that I may never seek, so much to be consoled as to console, to be understood as to understand, to be loved as to love ... it was kinda obvious and i had to laugh at myself, but fark. sometimes i dont want to be understanding, sometimes i dont want to be the one giving. because i do try, i really do, and i have had a lot of hurt in my life, i just wish sometimes someone would try with me.
cute timmy

(no subject)

hey journal!
it has been a long time
i have not been using the computer a lot, and when i do i am generally kinda rushed.
i have been spending a lot of time at home, which is actually where i am right now, my internet has not been working, but i tried it out tonight & it seems to be working.
so.. things have been going pretty well except my camera is damaged? it has a problem with the on button. it is still under the warranty period (barely) because i bought it last september 10th, but the problem is that i do not have the receipt!!!!
i bought it from costco through my brothers membership. i tried calling their concierge number tonight but they could not help me because -another problem- my brother's membership is no longer valid. it expired and he did not renew it. she gave me another number but it is not 24hours, so i have to call during business hours. if i can get some sort of proof of purchase then i can send it in to canon through the warranty, my brother thought he gave me the receipt, and he may have but i have all the other papers, etc.. in the box on my shelf & its not there. i looked in every other place that i have that i put any sort of important papers and i cant find it. my house is not very large and i not too long ago thoroughly cleaned my house and sorted EVERYTHING! so, i pretty much know where everything is in here, i have not lived here too long to have stockpiles like i do at my parents place.
the camera still works, its just difficult to turn on and off. so if all else fails, its not like i have an inoperable camera like with my last one which just died about a month or two after the warranty ended. lens error for NO REASON. + it would cost just a little more to buy a new camera then to fix it, so blah.

Anyway.
in good news, i have been doing a bunch of different projects.
i have been doing a bunch of natural dye stuff. eco prints, well, i did a bunch that i have left to sit and am trying to be super patient, so hopefully when i open them they will be really nifty. i have only opened 2, 2 i made the same night. i put mountain ash leaves in them that printed really really well! very orange! even though they were green leaves, some oak leaves that printed very lightly and creeping bell flowers that printed a bit. one of the fabrics i used was polyester though & you are supposed to use only natural fibers. i had a scrap though and wanted to see how it turned out. actually the oak printed a bit on the polyester, lightly, but it did sorta show up.
lately i have been doing colour potential tests with little swatches of cotton. i have only done a couple because it takes a few days. the first one i tried was with the russian comfrey plant in my back yard and it dyed a light beige-ish yellow. i have a red holly hock plant beside my house and i have been collecting the flowers that fall off every night and freezing them, but i did 2 dye tests with blossoms before freezing them, with one i simmered them and it turned into a light khaki green colour. the second one i did a solar dye, just putting them in a jar and putting it out on my front porch and that produced a greyish colour.
tonight i was trying out dandelion leaves, which was a disappointment. it has made a very very very light yellow colour, oh well. and i am also doing a shibori thing with turmeric, hopefully that turns out kinda neat!
another project that i picked up again was making agar prints! last time i worked on them there was not really any leaves out, so it was all with just paint or found objects. but i have been making prints with leaves and it has been fun! i have been using an old plate with a big crack in it though! i should make a new one. i also just have a huge pile of prints now, i did a lot of them, most of them, on scrap paper. i also made a bunch of envelopes out of bus maps and printed on those. i should make a new plate and make some sort of artistbooks out of prints????
and my 3rd project that i have been working on off and on is 3d photography. i have been making 3d photos, but i have been working more on dye stuff lately. but whenever i see something i think has good potential for 3d i always get out my camera and take some pics. i just sometimes dont get around to making them into anything for awhile. i want to go to borden park and take some pictures there, there are a bunch of sculptures and some fountains and i want to try those out. i also hope we go to the mountains this summer because that would be neat! i have been trying out some flower stuff, but close up is sometimes a bit difficult. i saw my brother in law preform (he sings) one evening and i did some there, those turned out kinda nifty because it was getting dark and there was stage lighting. the people on the stage were moving a bit so they are not perfectly clear, so the stage is what is in focus, but i like the lights and everything. i also kinda like the aspect of movement in the 2 photos together, i have taken photos of cars in the street, so the 2 photos obviously have different cars and sometimes those look interesting.

ugh. anyway. my internet died and i have no connection. it might reconnect or i might just save this and post later. either way...
cute timmy

(no subject)

i am so sniffly!
i spent the evening cleaning up at my house, which was not so bad. i was just sorting things out. my true goal of the night was to make some washing soda! to do this you need to bake some baking soda in the oven, stirring it occasionally to make sure it heats evenly. (or so says the internet) but every time i stirred it or did anything with it i started sneezing and sniffling and ugh. so i was trying really hard to not breathe it in, i was plugging my nose and attempting not to breathe. ugh. the internet told me nothing about that.

i have a wasp problem! & i am really starting to hate those things. so far i have been bitten 3 times this summer, twice this week! they have built a nest on my steps under my front porch!!! my dad sprayed it really good and removed the nest. then yesterday i noticed all sorts of wasps flying into my steps again & you could see a nest. under a week and they had built another one the size of a large grapefruit/small melon already. i was even being careful, walking on the opposite end of the steps and gently and BITE! stupid bugger. the bite from this one looks weird, it looks like a blister but it is flat??? & all three of my bites are on my left leg, one on my foot and 2 on the lower right calf. ugh. so my dad sprayed them all again and knocked down the nest. & this evening i was out there with him and we were looking there and there are still wasps swarming at the stairs. so he was just spraying the heck out of it with the hose and even after that there were wasps flying around. i dont know what we can do????



i took this picture yesterday, i just kinda stuck my camera under my little deck and aimed and clicked the shutter so i had to crop it and enlarge it a bit and when doing that i noticed that my camera has a blue pixel on the bottom middle of the photos!!! i dont know if you can see it on this picture or if it is cut off, i cant remember and i cant see until i post it. arg!!! i kinda quickly looked it up yesterday but not in great detail and i think that there might be something i can do to fix it. i hope so! it was quite bright on these under the deck pictures, probably because i used the flash??? the same day, after, i had taken some pictures of some white cloth and when you enlarge, sure enough the blue dot is there but it is not that bright.
yesterday i also took a bunch of pictures of bees!
cute timmy

(no subject)

went to my uncles place for a bbq tonight. it went pretty well. it has been very very very warm out lately. well, just plain hot. we have decided to have a standing invitation for bbq night on saturdays this summer, if anyone is up for it, which i think is a good idea!
i had a veggie hot dog & it was pretty good! i have never really had one before. well.. i think i have had a taste of one once or twice maybe? & i know i attempted to eat one once when i first stopped eating meat, which was ... maybe 16 or 17 years ago? i tried cooking it over the fire while camping and it was disgusting! i had to throw it out. my aunty said that you need to bbq them or they are yucky. so anyway, the first hotdog i have had in a long time!
the night was generally good, there was one instance that kinda bothered me though. my nieces were saying something about killer whales, i dont know what. they recently went on holidays and went whale watching & saw some, so it was something about that. they were calling them orcas though & one of my uncles said something like 'doesnt the word orca mean whale?' ...no one really knew but i said, i dont know, but i really dont think so because orcas are actually dolphins.
there was a bit of talk & my sister quickly looked something up on her phone and read something, i dont remember exactly everything she said something about orcas... killer whales... then something about the name and god of the underworld or something like that, and then she said something like, so yeah it means whale.
i said.. um, no, i dont think so, cause they are dolphins, and she said, no its whale.
i tried to explain.. well, no.. you just read something about the name origin being something about a god of the underworld or something? .."no, whale."
..but..the.."no, whale."
she can be very abrupt sometimes and kinda rude. i was really rather annoyed and kinda offended. i mean, i knew i was right. i was kinda into dolphins and whales back in junior high, so i kinda know a bit about them. there really was not anything i could do about it though, short of starting a fight with her & it was not that important or worth it. i did not have any solid facts to back me up or anything, so whatever, move on. however, when i got home & got around to coming online i did look it up and sent her & my aunt&uncle a link showing that killer whales are dolphins and i also found a little blurb about the origin of their name on wikipedia. its not like i held a grudge or anything though, i even rode home with her so we could talk on the way back.
another thing i was kinda noticing there while everyone was talking, and have been sort of just noticing in general, is that my mom is starting to forget a lot of things. she has been forgetful for awhile, just a bit absent minded perhaps, but today there was a couple of instances. i said something to everyone (that i had read that edmonton had been the drive in capital of canada) and a few moments later.. literally, probably 5, less than 10 i am sure, my uncle comes out and she tells him "someone just said that edmonton is the drive in .." i said, yeah, that someone was me. she laughed and said 'i don't know, i cant remember these things' or something to that effect.
she has weird things with her memory a lot lately, but not usually so obvious
the other thing was a bit more concerning to me. people were talking about little kids who talk about events from past lives. when my brother was really little he used to talk sometimes about when he worked on the railway & then there was this odd event when he was maybe 3 or something when someone from the railway actually called the house and asked for my brother (or his name) to offer him a job. my mother has told this story many many many times. they were talking about this and then my aunty mentioned the part about the job and my mom was like "really? i dont remember that? i remember someone called about a job, but i dont remember what it was for."
she has also been sleeping a lot.
i think i have noticed things before, but i think today i am actually first starting to worry that something might actually be slipping with her. it is not something i really want to think about, but i suppose i should look into it a bit because if something is happening the sooner it is managed the better.
the other thing i have noticed lately, far less concerning, is that my left ankle is noticeably larger than my right one. now, its only a bit larger i guess. my left leg is the one i broke. i have a rod and 6 screws in it & i am wondering if that alone can be the cause. another option i am thinking is scar tissue, but i am not thinking that so much because i dont really feel much scar tissue there. a third option is my ankle can just be a bit swollen at the end of the day, totally possible. i had injured my right ankle way back, quite bad, tore several ligaments, some pretty bad, and that ankle would swell up for years and years after, still does sometimes, and i only really look at my legs at night when i think about it. just something i have been wondering about.
it has been super smokey out too! blah. and my throat has been scratchy. its unpleasant.
but things have been generally good.
except that i have been wanting to make green onion cakes for days and days and days, weeks even! and i keep forgetting or whatever, or, like today, i was going to do it but now it is 1:28AM already. i think i might just do it anyway!!!!
they are so yum~!
cute timmy

(no subject)

it is HOT out!
record breaking heat today! it got up to 34
i went and got fruit, so i am happy! i got plums & peaches & nectarines & strawberries
i also got some nugget potatoes, yum!
i am thinking of making stirfry tonight for supper, yippie!
i also bought some prickly pears! i have never had them before! they had green ones and red ones, so i bought one of each.
i had another new fruit last week, a granadilla! which is a type of passionfruit i guess! it is similar to a purple passionfruit, but it was orange and larger
have i written about my dying stuff?
i have been wanting to do eco dying. so i have been mordanting my cloths
my uncle brought me a pale of ash from his fireplace, so yesterday i started making some ashwater
i tested the pH of the bit that had formed & it is quite alkaline, so that is really good!
i want to do an alkaline mordant & 1 more protein mordant on my dishtowels & then i am going to attempt to do some ecodyes!
& i am going to attempt to do some solar dying on some of the remnants that i got from the eco center
i also have been wanting to make green onion cakes for ages!
well.. maybe not ages, but last week or possibly even the week before i bought a couple bunches of green onions to make some & i still have not done it!
so i am going to tonight!
oh!
i attempted to make some rose petal jam yesterday!
it kind of went disastrous!
i have never used pectin (well, i made my own apple pectin last year and used that for the pomegranate jam i made, but have never used store bought pectin) & was uncertain about it
one way of adding pectin to jam is to put lemon peels in a little bag made of cheesecloth and boil it with the jam while you are making it
so.. i did that, i thought it might help a tiny bit
my jam got SUPER THICK!
i ended up having to add more water
i also ended up only filling 1 tiny jar! i didnt have that many petals but i thought it would at least make maybe 3?
also i checked it today & the jar did not seal
ugh.
oh well
SO HOT TODAY!!!!
i think i need to eat some ice cream
cute timmy

(no subject)

i went to the farm today!
i wanted to pick wild roses because i want to make some wild rose jam (or jelly, whatever)
i walked around LOTS and there were barely any blossoms! lots of bushes, just most of the blossoms were gone, so that sucked. after awhile walking my hips started hurting REALLY bad. (not -hands on your hips- hips, ..hip socket, hip joint type hips) .. i have not had problems with my hips in a long time, so this really sucks. i have some sort of arthritis in my hips but they have not bothered me in over a year? multiple years even maybe? blah.
i also picked some of the dark purple alfalfa flowers for iceflower dying & some dark pink roses from my grandma's flower garden for dying as well, so.. there is that.
after the walking around i sat in the house for a bit .. my dad was mowing the lawn, which took a LONG time. hours and hours .. the grass had got a foot high & he had to go over areas twice.
i started looking around at stuff.. in the kitchen because i wanted to see if there were any pots i could use for dying. i found a nice big one with a lid! i also found some other old stuff, some old glass jars of extract, an old box of powdered soap, an old box of plaster, some little vintage oil cans, a measuring cup.. i am not sure what else.
& i did some looking around in her bedroom & got some neat things! old bus tickets, some old safetypins, a old pair of pinking shears, a little ceramic deer & then the neatest thing, an old stereoscope & a whole stack of cards for it!
i also started sorting through some papers on her dresser.. sorting out what is to keep and what is to get rid of. that whole house is going to need to be gone through eventually so i thought, mine as well start. there was a neat old photo there of a bunch of ladies at what looked at like maybe a telephone call center? it appeared to have everyones name on the back of it but the writing was very very faded.
i did not get a chance to look through very much stuff before my dad was finished.
on the way back we stopped several times by the side of the road to pick roses in the ditch & i ended up getting quite a few, so that was great! super duper.
when we got back my dad had me order him Chinese food & it just got here. it actually smells kind of gross. i think i am going to go eat some though because i am hungry & i like rice!
cute timmy

(no subject)

ugh. my back hurts
i am getting old. do a bit of work & i have aches and pains for a week!
i have been tying to make arrangements to pick up a camera i am buying from some girl & it is proving difficult
i was going to get a ride from my dad to go pick it up tomorrow, but that might not work out
so it seems like she might be dropping it off
i am fortunate that she is being so patient with me
i first contacted her about it at the beginning of june when i had my cold & she has held on to it for me

so i have more health concerns
i went to the washroom earlier today & noticed blood on the toilet paper
its not time for my period
i had some spotting a few days ago as well, but this was more blood
i also had a little bit of spotting for a day or two in between my last two periods (during the time i was sick with the cold stuff)
another concern is that day awhile back, i had to look up the date and it was may 15th, when i woke up with the really really really bad pelvic pain
& then when i went out to talk to my sister i got kinda light headed and collapsed on the grass
i have not had bad pelvic pain like that since
i may have had some pelvic pain, i am not sure, i have random pelvic pain & usually do not pay much attention to it
i have a history of ovarian cysts & usually just chalk it up to that
but the concern is that because of the lynch syndrome i have a much higher risk of ...
i thought it was uterine, but i was just looking it up & i guess it is endometrial cancer
i guess i have a 20 - 60% greater chance (than the general public?) of contracting endometrial cancer
& i never go for testing, like pap smears or those sort of annual check ups that a person is supposed to go for
i suppose i should do that
ugh.